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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28815681">Cotton Candy Chords and Whispered Dreams</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedrunkenwerewolf/pseuds/thedrunkenwerewolf'>thedrunkenwerewolf</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Heirverse: Phase X [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Bleach</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Feelings, Fluff, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Inspired by Music, M/M, Romantic Gestures, SOF, Singing, standalone story</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:09:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,608</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28815681</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedrunkenwerewolf/pseuds/thedrunkenwerewolf</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After many years of having Aizen write him songs, Gin surprises Aizen with a song of his own. Fluff oneshot. No context required.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aizen Sousuke/Ichimaru Gin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Heirverse: Phase X [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1304063</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Cotton Candy Chords and Whispered Dreams</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey folks. Much like with Without a Trace, I wanted to play in the heirverse sandbox without necessarily comitting to the verse canon. As such this is in phase X just for the cross references and the fact I have no clue where/if this even fits into actual canon. But it can definitely still be read independently as an AU. If you want it to be in the canon this probably fits best in P5 or very late P2, though myself I am leaning more towards 5.</p><p>If you're not into that series, please ignore all of the above and just enjoy the AU :)</p><p>The song is an edited version of 'monster' from Obsidian, and big thanks to Tinkothewolf for the title and enthusiasm for this piece. As always feedback is nice and generally means more content.</p><p>Enjoy the story.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Cotton Candy Chords and Whispered Dreams</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>"I know that we'll never grow old together, 'cause you'll never grow old t'me..."</em>
</p><p>Gin strummed his guitar softly, singing quietly. His pet fox Cherry his only audience member. Sousuke's fox Tsuku was spark out on the sofa, fast asleep.</p><p>"What are you doing?" Sousuke asked, walking into the living room with a mug of tea in each hand and setting one down on the coffee table for him. "And where'd you get that?"</p><p>"Thrift store," Gin grinned, strumming each of the strings once more. "an' hey, if you play piano, I figure I can learn t'play somethin' too."</p><p>"Is that what you've been doing when I'm at work?" Sousuke smiled, sitting beside him on the sofa.</p><p>"Uh-huh. Fer a few weeks now actually."</p><p>"Have you learned any songs yet?"</p><p>Gin's smile turned sheepish, and a wave of heat rushed up to his cheeks as he laughed nervously. "Well, I er, do have <em>one</em> song I wrote for ya."</p><p>Sousuke's smile brightened like the sun at that. "You wrote me a song?" he asked softly.</p><p>Gin nodded, cheeks still flushed. "Well, you've written me so many. Gotta pay ya back somehow."</p><p>"Can I hear it?"</p><p>Gin strummed his guitar again. "'course," he smiled. "S'why I wrote it, fer ya t'listen."</p><p>He let his partner get comfortable on the sofa beside him to listen, hands wrapped around his cracked cat mug, and Gin cleared his throat to loosen it before he began.</p><p>
  <em>"I know that we'll never grow old together,</em><br/>
<em>Cause you'll never grow old to me.</em><br/>
<em>You're the pink in my cheeks</em><br/>
<em>And I'm scared cause that means I'm a little bit soft."</em>
</p><p>The chords of the song were cotton candy soft, his singing voice gentle. He wasn't sure how Sousuke would take his song, or if it would even mean anything to the man. But the verses he sang were his truth, and one that needed to be put into words.</p><p>
  <em>"But don't beat yourself up, darlin',</em><br/>
<em>it wasn't just the sun that I was hidin' from.</em><br/>
<em>We were just messed up kids who taught ourselves how to live</em><br/>
<em>And I'm still scared that I'm not good enough."</em>
</p><p>He hummed as he strummed the strings and played the chords, baring his soul through song. Finally appreciating what it had meat for Sousuke to do the same all those years ago. Songs were whispered thoughts and dreams, beautiful and fragile. And for the longest time Gin had believed them hardly worthwhile. At least, until Sousuke. <em>Then </em>he started to believe they were. Although a small part of him, like the song said, was still frightened he wouldn't be good enough for his partner. The part of him that still couldn't see what the man saw in a nobody like him. And a petty, passive aggressive nobody at that.</p><p>Thankfully that part was getting smaller. Thanks in no small part to Sousuke. Who deserved so much more than a song. But it was all Gin had to give him, so it would have to be enough.</p><p>But from the tender look on his lover's face, Gin knew it was.</p><p>
  <em>"I've always felt like a monster,</em><br/>
<em>Long before all of this.</em><br/>
<em>Only seen as a monster,</em><br/>
<em>Let's just say that I'm used to it."</em>
</p><p>Gin continued to play the chords, mind dancing back over time. To his Rukon days, then his time at the Academy. Always feeling different. Always feeling like he didn't belong...</p><p>Until Sousuke.</p><p>It was safe to say Gin had grown hard and bitter over the years, due to the ridicule and the bullying and the thinly veiled contempt the majority of his peers held for him. But Sousuke dug beneath all that and found his soft, mushy centre. The part that cared, and smiled, and laughed and loved. Only Sousuke and Ran ever got to see that part. The rest of the world got scowls and snide remarks. A deterrent to keep anyone from getting close enough to hurt again.</p><p>
  <em>"And I grew tough cause love it only hurt me back,</em><br/>
<em>But loving you's a good problem to have.</em><br/>
<em>And I'm used to that,</em><br/>
<em>But I could get used to this."</em>
</p><p>At first he'd thought it was a weakness. This affection. Especially in the early days of their relationship. He'd thought it made him vulnerable and open to heartache and hurt. Both of those things he could do well without. He'd made himself into a cold snake over the years, more for survival than anything else. After all, the more people you loved, the weaker you were. The more people you cared about could be used against you. That's why he'd frozen his heart to all but Ran, in the hopes of protecting himself. And her too.</p><p>But Sousuke had come along and thawed him out, and watched Gin melt for him over a lifetime and more than several mugs of tea. And Gin eventually came to realise that falling in love actually made you stronger, not weaker. And that there was nothing at all wrong with being just a little bit soft.</p><p>He just hoped his lover got all that from his words.</p><p>
  <em>"And for the record I stole your sweater,</em><br/>
<em>Cause I just wanted you close to me.</em><br/>
<em>But I thought shaking knees only meant I was weak,</em><br/>
<em>Just a little too soft."</em>
</p><p>He'd fought it for years. Stubbornly refusing to believe it hasn't been anything else than a game to the older man. But with a lot of both time and patience, Aizen Sousuke won him over, and eventually, after a spontaneous snap decision one night in the rain, they married.</p><p>Settled down.</p><p>Made a home.</p><p>A life.</p><p>Together.</p><p>Of course, it wasn't always plain sailing. Even safe harbours weren't always so safe. They had more than their fair share of fights. And over the course of their relationship, they'd hurt each other more times than they could count or cared to admit. But despite all the hurt and the lies and betrayals and the pain – Gin loved him more than anything in the three worlds. Sousuke made Gin feel wanted. Safe. Happy. <em>Loved. </em>And he wasn't going to give that up for anything.</p><p>He just hoped that came across in his words.</p><p>
  <em>"If we put away the armour, darlin',</em><br/>
<em>We're gonna hurt each other a little sometimes.</em><br/>
<em>But I'd rather brave the fall than never feel it at all</em><br/>
<em>It's not easy but it's worth the fight.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh it's not easy, but darlin' it's worth the fight."</em>
</p><p>Gin strummed his guitar, lost in his own music. A little nervous about meeting his lover's gaze so he avoided it altogether. Although baring one's soul to another person – especially someone you cared for and respected – did instil a fair bit of anxiety in you. In another life, Gin might not have sang this song at all, to spare himself the possible rejection. But he was in <em>this </em>life, and these were words his Sousuke needed to hear. Words Gin had written <em>for</em> him. So he'd brave the anxiety monster trying to eat him alive from the inside out. Hoping his lover's reaction would be worth it.</p><p>Because if he could make his Sun – his Helios – smile again, then he'd be happy too. And if they could live together and make each other happy, grow old and grey together and all that jazz, Gin would consider that a life well lived.</p><p>He just hoped he could get all that across in his song as he sang the last soft verse.</p><p>
  <em>"And I know we'll never grow old together,</em><br/>
<em>Cause you'll never grow old to me.</em><br/>
<em>You're the pink in my cheeks and I love that it means</em><br/>
<em>I'm a little bit soft."</em>
</p><p>He closed his eyes lightly and softened his strums as he sang the last words.</p><p>
  <em>"You're the pink in my cheeks and I love that it means I'm a little bit soft."</em>
</p><p>Gin played the final chords, soft and gentle, and let them fade away into the air around them. The quiet assimilating the soft noise. He opened his eyes again and risked a glance up at his partner, who had the softest smile Gin had ever seen in his life on his face. One that <em>definitely</em> reached his eyes.</p><p>And he knew his message had got across.</p><p>Gin smiled shyly, a little nervous at being stared at so intently and for so long. "Heh, well, tha's it," he began. Babbling just to fill the quiet his anxiety fed on. "I hope you liked it. Truth told I had a lotta trouble learnin' the right chords, and then I-"</p><p>His anxious prattling was cut dead by his partner grabbing him by the shirt collar and pulling him in for a soft kiss. Probably just to shut him up and stopping him ruining the moment, his anxiety supplied, though Gin knew it went deeper. Aizen was a man who kept his cards very close to his chest, except in rare moments like this. So Gin knew his song had hit the mark dead centre.</p><p>The man kissed him long enough to make him melt all over agan, and then gently pulled away. Still looking at him and his flushed cheeks with a tender gaze and soft smile.</p><p>"It was beautiful, thankyou," he answered. "And Gin," he added with a smile Gin wanted to take a photograph of just to preserve the memory when his own failed in old age. "Thankyou, for being in my life."</p><p>Gin just grinned back at him. Trying to keep himself glued together, and his eyes dry. "Hey," he nudged, smiling. "That's my line."</p>
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